“He hates you.“ Her sweet face belied the harshness of her words. “He told me so.” She continued, and in her little girl’s innocence she could not comprehend the meaning behind her statement.
How many times have you ran into people you knew, and even loved, many years before and found out you have nothing in common anymore? It could be an old roommate, a cousin very dear to you once, the old neighbor you played with the whole summer years ago. It could be anyone and it could happen even without long absences in between, such in the case of spouses who find out after awhile they have drifted apart.
Why? How does it happen that you may start with someone on a journey at the same pace, on the same spot, with the same advantage, edge, and strength, and one may go further, last longer, grow stronger, learn more, and become a better person than the other with the same experiences lived?
What is it within ourselves that will allow us to grow and change for the better with everything life can dish at us, whether is good or bad, whether is joy or misery, whether is light or darkness, whether is full or empty?
I believe some life experiences will come our way outside of our control. The death of a loved one, the evil acts of others, mishaps that occur in this fallen earth, acts of nature, whether human or otherwise. All around us affects us and most of the time we can’t control their occurrence in our lives. What we can control though is how we react to them.
Do we grow and learn? Do we fall and retreat? Do we take responsibility and change? Do
blame and feel sorry for ourselves? Do we look up and trust in that Universe and Its Creator Who is mindful of us, and believe that at the end the Heavens will open on our behalf and for our benefit? Or do we look up and curse that same Heaven and walk further away into total darkness falling for the fallacy that we are our own entity and can control our destiny without Its help?
In my long life, I have made many mistakes, I have experienced long sleepless nights of pain, physical, emotional, mental and spiritual. I have fallen many times and I carry multiple scars on my body and my spirit as proof. There are times when I look back and wish I had behaved differently in certain times of my life and save myself misery and pain. But, also I have seen that by not blaming others for those mistakes, by bitting the bullet and swallowing the tears and pain, by acknowledging my part and responsibility in what is happening to me and around me, by humbling myself and making a plan to change, by enduring the pain of realizing I am the defining factor of what I have become, whether good or bad, I have in reality become someone I can live with, even someone I can be proud of.
My decisions have shaped my destiny. They have also molded me, refined me, purified me, and stretched me beyond my comfort zone many times. The result has been awesome. I find myself now in what may be perhaps the final stretch of my life, truly liking the person I have become, and most of all, living a good life. For In the words of Bertrand Russell,“The good life is one inspired by love and guided by knowledge.”
So, what do we do when someone dear to us once hates us because of where they have drifted to ? If you are living your destiny well, if you can live with your decisions, past, present and future, you wish them well, offer a prayer on their behalf and go forward, for after all, we can only control who we are and how we live. And wish the same for all.
This is just my opinion…