Not Empty, Nor Full, But Refillable!
Do you ever feel like you, or someone you know, are out of synch with their present circumstances? If you are married, you look upon your years when you were single and feel life was simpler then. If you are single, you look at your married sisters with longing, and wonder why you can’t be so blessed? If you have children, begrudge the lack of time and freedom, and if you are childless curse heaven for not granting you the one thing you have been asking for. This week, after treating several patients whose organic symptoms could be traced to emotional blockages, I have been thinking about how we sometimes sabotage our own happiness by focusing on what we do not have, wishing for what we think we must have, and wasting time in feeling sorry for presently unfulfilled dreams and goals. Aside from being a total waste of energy, time and effort, it is also detrimental to our sense of wellness. Those negative emotions of sorrow, envy, begrudging, frustration, anger, despondency, hate, jealousy, sadness and more, clog or obstruct the flow of vital energy our bodies need to function well. Phrases such as “ He died of a broken heart; It feels like a stone sitting on my chest; She made me cry blood tears,” are more than poetic words to convey a message of pain. They actually describe some of the things which happen in the body as we allow negative emotions to stay and fester. Just recently I came across a post which made me laugh. It read, “ Those who say the glass is half empty and those who say it is half full, are missing the point. The glass is refillable!” I loved it! Talk about a proactive perspective. In this life, which has been described as a “ life of probation,” we will all face challenges. We will all lack something we are sure would make our life perfect. We will cry blood tears, have our hearts broken, and feel like a stone is sitting on our chest making it difficult to even breathe at least once in our lifetime. But, we will also be blessed with strength, help, hope, friends, and everything we need to survive and persevere. We cannot help it. We were created not only to survive, but to conquer and succeed. How do we do it then? As our friend who thought of the refillable glass so perfectly illustrates, we can either, waste time feeling saddened by the fact our lives may seem to lack what we most desire at the moment, whether this is money, success, children, a spouse, beauty, fame or things more vital such as safety, food, protection, love, health. Or, we may try to be optimistic and force ourselves to believe all is well, in spite of what our human eyes see and our human hearts feel which may contradict this belief, and in turn brew deep down a sense of inadequacy, because we know we are only fooling ourselves. Or, we can do what our friend reminds us of, we can refill our glasses. We can work hard to reach our goals. We can stretch ourselves and move towards what we do want and need. We can gain control, of ourselves, our emotions, our circumstances. In other words, we fight back. We fight back by empowering ourselves. Learning, education, self-control, and faith in ourselves, in God’s plan, in those around us and our power to change our circumstances, are some of the things we can take hold of while we fight back to reach a safe port. Our ultimate goal for most of us is to be happy. For some of us, this has nothing to do with tangible things, not a new dress, or home, or car, but a sense of contentment from who and what we have become while fighting life’s battles. Therefore, let us focus on what is happening to us while we reach our destination. After all, a diamond is just a piece of charcoal that underwent a tremendous amount of pressure for a very long, long time. This is just my opinion... As a single woman, a Mormon and a western/ Chinese doctor.