• Patricia H. Arnazzi

Only the Lonely


Loneliness

“You are a single woman. You must be so lonely and feel so empty.” Her words took me by surprise.

For many reasons, but I will elaborate in only two. A) those words came from her. A she, a female, a woman, a sister. By uttering them, she was saying what she believes to be true, that only with a man by my side I have value. B) she dared to judge my life without taking the time to get to know me and what I do all day, every day.

I stood there and I have to admit, shamefully, speechless. Not because I did not have anything to say, but out of everything that was jumbling in my mind, I could not pick at least few words which would convey the message I want her to hear so she can learn and grow in wisdom.

I did not want to sound reproachful, not even resentful. I did not want to be judgmental as she appeared to be. I did not want to be offensive, although she herself did not mind if I found her words offensive or not.

I am a woman of science, who has sought for knowledge her whole life. I love reading and learning. I am a strong, formidable, successful woman. But, my strength lies on the foundation of my beliefs. I am a woman of deep faith and with a strong testimony on the existence of God, on the mercy of His perfect Plan of Happiness, on the love of a Savior Who lived, died and rose from the dead that I may have hope. I also believe there is a purpose and destiny for each one of us. I believe we all have value at the eyes of an Eternal Father, Who sees “not as a man seeth...”. Thankfully, He does not judge me by my looks, my riches, or my marital status.

In His Kingdom, there is still so much I can do, with a husband, without a husband, or in spite of a husband.

So, I choose to answer you, my new uninformed friend today, in this fashion. I seek only to enlighten you. All I want is to show my love and respect for you as an individual of value, which is more than what you were willing to grant me, and say a few things of what a single woman like me is all about.

I am a single woman, who believes in the eternal value of marriage. I learned by the example of my good parents what a man and a woman, who love and respect each other, can accomplish in a family. Unfortunately, marriage was not in the cards for me. Nevertheless, I believe in focusing on my blessings, rather than on my “ deficiencies.”

I am a woman of deep faith in a Plan where at the end, all will work out for my good, and in the meantime, I use my life in the service of others.

I fulfill my void of those children I wish I could have been blessed with, by mothering another woman’s children. Validating, strengthening, empowering those overwhelmed mothers by taking my talents, my love, my time, my sacrifice and put them at their disposal to make their burdens easier.

I am a single woman, who volunteers to serve in my family, my church, my community at every opportunity I have, which translates in never being alone, or feeling lonely.

Although, I do not know all, I am a woman with much knowledge who devotes her life to heal others. Long hours of study, sacrifice, learning, prayer and humility, go into what I do every day, which is to try to bring wellness, health, and happiness to the lives of those around me.

I know how good habits of nutrition, sleep and exercise can strengthen our bodies, and I work hard at implementing them in my own life and teaching them to others. I know how emotions, whether positive or negative affect our well-being. I know my limitations and seek to vanquish them in a positive way.

I place my expertise in medicine to serve those who place their trust in me, and feel humbled and privileged to do so. Most of all, I care.

So, my beloved friend, let us not tear each other down. I want you to know, that I am very happy your married life is fulfilling, that I am overjoyed to know your time is full and worthwhile. But, so is mine.

Tony Robbins once said: “ Only those who have learned the power of sincere and selfless contribution experience life’s deepest joy: True fulfillment. I am happy to tell you, I have.

This is just my opinion as...

A single woman, a Mormon, a western/Chinese doctor.

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